@Brandon_Hilton fail.

So after his last self post I decided to google ‘brandon hilton’.

As you can see we have Brandon Hilton as a child. Note his nose has not yet mutated into what it is today.

We have Brandon Hilton now. You may now pause from reading and retrieve the eye bleach you have under your kitchen sink and use it appropriately. If you have no eye bleach it is suggested you buy said bleach from your local supermarket. You can find it in the 5 cent basket along with Brandon Hilton’s make up line. Note his nose has mutated. It is apparent that his mother was a rhinoceros and his father was a skinny, albino cross dresser who had a taste for little boys as Brandon has said his father raped him.

The thing I love most about google is that it is now so advanced it can tell you what the person you are googeling will look like in the future. Here we have Brandon’s future self. All of the negative comments regarding his nose had gotten under his skin and he decided to whore himself to cover the charges of the rhinoplasty. After emerging back onto the internet to one way tweet with Paris Hilton and the Man Cow Lady Gaga he was receiving no negative comments about his nose and fell into a fake drug binge and now works at McDonalds (he is a demon who’s life force is powered by reading negative comments about him on the internet and mistaking them for his fans). But don’t worry everyone; he’ll be back with a new reality show about him trying to fly to the moon. The show revolves around sitting Brandon in a large medieval catapult and launching him directly at the moon. I expect positive reviews.

Here’s a interview he did with someone who doesn’t exist working for something that has never existed.

AuITV- Hello Brandon, My name is Sarah, And Im a reporter with Australian, Inside T.V.
BHilton- Hi, Sarah, Its nice to talk to you
AuITV- So Brandon, before we start the interview, I just want to ask you personally, Are You Related to PARIS HILTON ?
BHilton- LOL. No Im Not People seem to think that, but its not true
AuITV- Well The Hilton on the end of your name, Im sure, throws people off
BHilton- Thats What It is
AuITV- Well We also know that you are HUGE over here, Is that strange not being TOO famous in your own country?
BHilton- Yes, Id have to say its really weird, I mean, I never expected things to be getting as big as they are, but I do know that I have a HUGE Fan base in Australia, I get emails from them all the time I think its hott
AuITV- Hott ? Paris says this.
BHilton- Yes she does, well I can remember back to like Middle School and I was saying it then. So I think anyone can say it.. People know I say it FREQUENTLY..
AuITV- Thats Funny, so what do you think of the fight between Paris And Nicole ?
BHilton- Ohhhh, No Comment !!!
AuITV- AWW, Come On, NO COMMENT At least say something ?
BHilton- Umm, I love Paris Hilton.
AuITV- And Nicole ?
BHilton- umm, I Love Paris Hilton.
AuITV- Ok, lol, so no Nicole..
BHilton- You are really trying here arent you ?
AuITV- We just want to know
BHilton- Nicole is OK !!!
AuITV- Ok, New Subject, So your Album, Party Like A Hilton is coming out in November ?

You can read the rest there \/

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=22512352&blogId=158675532

I live in Australia and I have my whole life and I think only myself and anyone bored enough to search through the shit holes of the internet will know who this douche is. Did he think Australia was some backwards ass country that listens to a rhino using auto tune? It’s amazing going through the blogs on his personal account that say ”2006 is the year for Brandon Hilton” “2007 is the year for Brandon Hilton” “2008 is the year for Brandon Hilton” “2009 is the year for Brandon Hilton” and it hasn’t happened. Ever. Hopefully he’ll realise that no one likes him, no one will buy his shitty music and kills himself next year.

And if you had just read all of that and think this is a self post; notice I haven’t capitalised anything? A trait Brandon always has when typing anything.

Also, why was his last last self post the same as the post about Amor and Kiki’s then and now pictures. Sorry Brandon but even though they are scum, at least a few sceney boppers know who they are and lol’d at the pictures. You on the other hand are hated and no one knows who you are; so self posting your old pictures was pretty sad.

And if you haven’t seen him failing x1000000000000000000 go to
http://www.myspace.com/cassidyrockx and
http://www.myspace.com/paris_hilton_impersonator